The Great Deluge

Yesterday I started to blog and then stopped short. It went like this:


It's been a tough year.  My mother has been ill and I am her primary caregiver.  On top of that I have a demanding job that requires travel.  My asana practice has suffered lately as has my diet because I am not taking care of myself. 
So what do I do to make the situation better? 
I beat my self up for not having more energy and patience.  My solution for eating a diet that does not serve me?  Carbs and sugar and chocolate and wine. My asana practice? It makes me feel bad because after all that work to get strong and flexible I am back sliding.  Which makes my asana practice a chore.
But here is the real problem  I am supposed to be living from the heart.  I should be filled with Shakti and Shri and.......


I turned off the computer and went to bed.  Kind of bummed and more than a little frustrated that I couldn't articulate how I was feeling.

As I slept, I dreamt that I was in a flood.  Not a flood of biblical proportions or even of  'spring flooding on the Mississippi' proportions but slowly rising water.  First, I watched the water rise from inside my house and then I chose to walk outside and wade into the water.  Clothes and shoes and all. 
When I was about waist deep, I climbed into a big wooden box that was sitting in the yard.  Almost immediately I began to panic as the slowly rising water lapped at my face. 
Then, just as quickly as the panic set in, the realization set in that all I  had to do was to climb out of the box and wade back to the house to be safe and dry.  And that's just what I did.  Once inside the house I was filled with feelings of relief and surprise and amusement that the solution to my  problem was so simple.


Then I went to work.  In the dream. Work??  I think that might have negated my 'just had to climb out of the box and walk to dry land' Epiphany.  But it was a start.


In dreams floods can symbolize being overwhelmed, obstacles, the unconscious or destruction.  In mythology a flood can stand for cleansing; either in preparation for spiritual rebirth or of being cleansed of sin. 
Which makes me wonder if my flood was of 'biblical' proportions after all.