I had many doubts about becoming a yoga teacher. 

The messages would play over and over again in my head:
I’m not a dancer or a gymnast or an athlete.  
I am not especially graceful or enlightened.  
I am over 50 and over weight, that is what I am.  

There are days that I approach my mat and my body says “Yuck.  Let’s order a pizza instead.”   But I keep going and someone (me?) keeps  whispering in my ear. “You are worthy”

I asked myself, “What could I possibly offer my students?  Who did I think I was to think I could teach anyone anything” 

The answer came when I realized that my flaws, real and perceived, the flaws I  have overcome and the ones I am still trying to overcome, were my gifts to my students.  The fact that asana, meditation and especially opening to grace, required constant  remembrance, discipline and an annoying amount of discomfort at times were exactly what I have to offer to my students!  I can look them in the eye and say “Yeah I know, it’s hard. Sometimes it downright sucks” 

But I can also tell them that most of the time yoga is joy.  It is life affirming.  It is life changing.  In the very best way I am more of the person I am meant to be while remaining the person I have always been.   My Anusara yoga practice has taught me disciple and control while showing me glimpses of delicious freedom.   That may sound like a paradox but it’s not. It is balance. It is union.  It is…well…yoga.

So now I have my first real yoga gig and instead of feeling doubtful or unsure of myself I am delighted.  I hope I can lead students to glimpse the peace and power that yoga has brought to me. I can only hope to channel my teachers with gratitude for the service they have done for me and humbly serve the students who come my way.
Jai Hanuman!!