Partnering

I have mixed feelings about partnering.  During regular classes at my 'home' studio and at our Anusara Immersions I enjoy working with my fellow students.  We are all on the same yoga 'page'.  We know enough about each others expereince level and asana skill level to be helpful to each other.  After a few years of practicing together we have developed a level of trust in each other that allows us to open up, so when my regular kula members give me feedback I know I can count on it.

When I visit new studios or go to workshops though, it's a crap shoot.  I find it hard to open up and trust in someone I have never met before, who does not know my practice and may even be giving me advice that is counter productive.

For example, I took a class last week in a studio in another city.  We were to assist a partner into Pincha Mayurasana.  No problem.  I've done this pose before and I've been assisted and given assistance this way before.  But before my hands and knees hit the floor my partner starting to rattle off instructions (we Anusurites talk a lot :-}) Her hands were up and down my back - soften here, expand here. I froze up.  I wanted to beg "Let me get into position first" then I wanted to snap "I know, give me a minute for god's sake"  I tried to swallow my ego and listen but I was resisting inside.


None the less, I followed all her instructions as best I could and when I was finally  in the position she approved of she asked "How does that feel?" 
I stopped for a minute to assess and then honestly replied "Actually, that kinda hurts"
"Good!" she cheerfully replied.

What we have here is a failure to communicate. 

Actually, I think what we have here is a failure to be sensitive.


While it seems obvious that she was not sensitive to me in that she didn't hear or listen to my complaint of pain communication and sensitivity is a two way street.


I need to be more sensitive and hear what the other person is really saying and meaning.  Was I being perceptive and receptive to her?  Maybe her rattling off of every Anusara instruction she had ever heard was becasue she was nervous working with someone she didn't know.  Could I have been more encouraging and receptive to her?  Did she sense my resistance (being sensitive) and therefore felt the need to reassure me that she knew her 'stuff'? Why do I freeze up and lose that beginner's mind?

When my turn came to assist her, I didn't say a word.  Right before she kicked up I touched her just below the shoulder blades and she softened.  Was that being sensitive or had I given up on a worthwhile exchange?  


Sensitivity is tough.